:: A good witch in a cursed land ::

Whenever you curse someone and they get transfered because of their job or something as bizare, they always seem to end up here. I've found a few people like me but it's difficult going againist so many stupid people.
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:: Monday, September 15, 2003 ::

Well, it's done. I finally found a little extra money in the checking account and went out and bought a liverjournal account. You can find it here. I just got done moving all the entries over. All I have to do is update the couple of servers I sent the address too.
:: Sandra 1:47 PM [+] ::
:: Sunday, September 14, 2003 ::
Yesterday was Pagan Pride Day! :) We decided to go to the LA one. Since we don't have reliable transportation, we had to rent one. So we leave at 5 in the morning to make it by 8 to help set-up. By the time everything is set-up, the opening ritual is half over. Since I won't jump into rituals in progress, I waited on the outside. They went over their alloted time and then once it over, the HP said "Go Shopping" so everyone thinks a break is being added in the slots so we leave. The guy running the workshop, sees everyone leave and cancels it, so no Goddess meditational.
With 2 hours to kill, instead of 1, I did go shopping. I bought a book for Raven Grimassi to sign and the incence I can't find here.
Then more workshops. Raven Grimassi was holding one on Spiritually of Modern Witchcraft and Madog Maelgwn held one on the Warrior Seer. Since I wanted to go both, I sent Nick to Raven Grimassi and I would go to Madog's but we got them mixed up but I figured maybe this was ment to be. It was really just a sales pitch for his new book Spirit of the Witch but it was a good one and now I want the book.
I didn't like Nick's workshop so much. It sounded more like a sales pitch for the SCA. And I figure we both ended up in the right spots since when I tried to recount the workshop for him, he got bored and walked away.
Then I was going to go to Melody "Buffy" Muir's workshop about Harnessing Elemental Power but she started talking about the Kabala and I realized it wasn't for me.
Nick has decided he wants to get more into tea. I knew he liked tea but I didn't know he liked it that much that he wants to turn it into a ritual. He has Black China now. We'll find more later.
Then it was time for the WARD forum. I felt bad because they hold these meetings and almost everytime, nobody shows up. Since no one had any problems, (I showed up to see if I could help out with someones problem) we talked about these problems with the pagan communtiy that we can't seem to do anything about like the Satanist that always show up to pagan events. We spend all this time telling people Wicca and paganism has nothing to do with Satan. Why do they have to show up and make us look like asses?! Why do all minority religions get lumped together?! Then there's the traditionalist. They tell everyone they don't have sex in coven. You go their ritual. It's one big orgy. The HP is eating cake frosting off someones ass! The least they could do is be honest so they don't waste my time.
I wanted to stay for the Caffe Latte show but Nick wanted to go home early because he thought there'd be traffic. I wish I'd said no. I heard the closing ritual was awesome. They made 3 rings that just kind of spiraled around each other.
:: Sandra 12:33 PM [+] ::
:: Friday, September 12, 2003 ::
I held my first solitary ritual ever, last night. I had to do dishes and take out the trash first but then I looked up at the moon and I just knew, it was time. It's kind of strange. All my calenders said Wedensday was the full moon but last night felt so much more magickal.
I got everything ready but I couldn't think of anything to do the ritual for. If I have no purpose, I don't know which God/dess to call so I just called the elements and asked for serenity in my daily life.
I felt fine until Nick refused to help carry out the cakes and wine for the birds and trees. I know it's such a silly thing to get mad over and kills what little point there was to the ritual. It just seems like I push him t do everything. I push him to look for a job, go to bed on time, go to school (when he was going) and now I push hm to finish rituals he started with me?!
I just feel like I'm sharing my passion and I don't even have enough for me.
:: Sandra 11:12 PM [+] ::
:: Friday, August 01, 2003 ::
I saw that white cat again two days ago. The only reason I can think of a cat following me is my familar when I was a teenager. Ssshe was a black cat and I wanted to name her Angel. My parents said that was sacreligious and we ended up calling her Baby. The orginal purpose of a familar was to aid a witch with her magick which she did a wonderful job of. Whenever I cast circle, she was always there supposedly to help me raise energy but she'd get really ansy and race out of my room. I found out later she was racing into my parents lap and magickally convincing them to stay put and not come see what I was doing so I could do ritual. To a witch living with hardcore christian parents she was perfect. Unfortunatly after her first litter of kittens was given away, some little brats dragged her down the street and threw her in front of a car.
I'm sure it was her but I don't understand why. I thought she had a pretty good life. We gave her wet food and treats all the time. She had two boyfriends, both across the street. She kicked the dogs butt every other day. Her toys were everywhere and she didn't even get yelled at when she clawed up the couch.
The first time was at Moongazers house while we were moving furniture. The second time was at work. I don't know. Maybe she's been following me all this tme and I just now realized it.
:: Sandra 10:58 PM [+] ::
:: Thursday, July 24, 2003 ::
Well, I had to let one more go. After listening to me rant constantley about this drug addicted, sex cult we almost joined, disquailifing poteintal applicants for drug use, I found out my coven sister, Moongazer still does tweak. We were helping her move and I started digging around trying to sort through trash and baubles going into boxes. I found a little pot pipe smelling fresh with use and almost warm. Her mom lets some weirdos into the house. I thought she'd say it was the guys that stole her jewelery. Nope she admited it. What I don't get is she talks about her neighbors tweaking habits. What adaucity when she's doing the same thing! So it seems my group has died. Out of 5 people, found out 2 were on drugs, one has family issues and ones got a night job. So it's just me and my brother, Owl. And I'm not sure if I want to meet anone else. With all the drugs in this city I'm afraid of who I'll meet next.
We did a dark moon ritual. It wasn't exactly how I would've done it but the power was there. We did the same meditation but this time I sat in a fetal position. I couldn't believe the difference it made. Immediatly the blood started rushing to my head and I didn't just have a ball of light in me. I was the ball of light. Blood and energy didn't seem to course through me. It rained down on top of me.
Then we cast the circle and invoked Hecate. Owl asked me to imagine the Goddess energies coming to me. I saw first a waxing moon. Then I was in an aztec temple and there was a stone statue with three faces. With every passing phase of the Goddess the head moved to a new face. I could hear the squeaking of machinary and the grinding of stone. When I oped my eyes, the shadows were deeper and the candlelight seemed to make the appearence of a wrinkled face on the wall.
We tried some scrying. I can't remember what Owl saw. Mine looked like fish coming to the surface for food. Doesn't tell me much. Then some tarot reading and then we closed the circle.
:: Sandra 1:53 AM [+] ::
:: Monday, July 14, 2003 ::
We finally got almost everyone togther. Four out five isn't bad. After the cleansing we did meditational. If you do the meditation where the energy starts in your toes, flows up to your fingers and finally into your head, notice the similarites between that experience and the scene in The Matrix where Neil transitions into the real world. And I know when I prep for ritual I should make a transition into the unreal world, it's just so exact. I can feel exactly where the energy is culminating, it's almost scary. I don't know how else to describe it. You should see all the revisions I've made already in this weblog, attempting to describe it. I just wonder, do other people feel this way during their rituals?
Next was the Goddess meditational. My Goddess is Diana, woodland huntress, protector of innocent animals and small children, and Hecate, Goddess of magick, mystries and transitations. I usually work with Diana. I couldn't think of where to start so I just asked "How might I better serve? How might I better protect your innocents?" Last time I asked, I saw a doe, shirving and hungary. I walked up to it and turned into a tree. I blocked the wind and doe ate my bark. Diana told me it was the little things that made so much difference. The tree couldn't move but did so much good for deer.
This time she was sitting on a tree, covered in skins and leaves like a female green man. She grabbed a rabbit, an adorable and fluffy one and bit it's head off. While she chewed, the long floppy ears hung out of it's mouth, she told me, Sometimes innocents die.
Then it was time for the ritual itself. Usually when we call the elements, the walls will turn the color of the element. This time, we called Norse Gods, mostly and the shadows on the walls seemed to sprout more horns.
I don't remeber anything else about the ritual. I don't think it would interest anyone anyway.
Afterward, David wanted to do another Goddess meditation. I started to ask another dumb question but she got mad and told me I'm to focused on doing. I should just be once in a while. Must be pretty bad if a goddess tells you that.
Then..we just polished off the rest of the cakes and wine and went home when the driver was sober.
:: Sandra 10:11 AM [+] ::
:: Thursday, June 26, 2003 ::
We sort of held a Summer Solstice. We had a good ritual planned out (last week of course. Couldn't get into the blog while it was updateing). Had planned to go to go the Covenstead around nine, clean it up, then have ritual by noon and go to work at six. My mom called and asked me to babysit but she's be done by noon. So no problem that was still six hours in between to do a ritual. Well we finally left around two. No one else was ready until four and I had to get ready for work. Nick picked everyone up anyway and they stayed and did readings while I was at work and about three hours afterwards.
Summer Solstice is not a day I would pick for tarot readings but they were enlightening, none the less.
Shouldn't have stayed up so late but Nick convinced me it would be ok since I didn't have to be at work until two the next day. Well, it wasn't! Never listen to Men! I kept trying to fall asleep at my station, I was so tired.
:: Sandra 6:14 PM [+] ::

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